Best quote ever!!

So-called "global warming" is just a secret plot by wacko tree huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st-century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!
-Grist.org founder and president Chip Giller

Quoted here
http://www.thecrunchychicken.com/2008/12/my-favorite-comment-of-day.html
in a comment by "mudnessa."

I am soooo old!

Gregory's birthday cake is in the oven right now. The fact that my youngest child is turning seven is not really the problem, though.
My sister-in-law, Dawn, makes this great cake the kids all love. Until today the kids have always been able to charm their aunt into making the cake for them. Gregory waited too long to bring the subject up, so I figured my number was up. I would have to do the honors. Dawn told me the recipe was on the back of the box of Hershey's cocoa. No problem, I have one in the cupboard, I'm golden. Until I tried to read the recipe. At first I hoped I couldn't read it because it was in an unfamiliar language. Or a strange, elaborate font. Turns out it was just really, really, really small. I had to print the recipe from the web in order to decipher it.
Happy birthday, Greg. I'll try not to hold this against you.

My new favorite blog*

"Cake Wrecks"
If you've never been there, check it out; and see this listing in particular, to find out why I wish I'd called my own blog "Perverted vegetable rodeo."

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/06/naked-mohawk-baby-carrot-jockeys.html

Warning: Do not look at this blog while drinking a beverage. Hot or fizzy drinks can be especially painful in this context.

*Favorite blog not written by a book club member.

Meeting Jeffrey

Inspired by Emilia, here is the story of how I met Jeff.

Disclaimer: It's not as good a story as Emilia and Todd's, and I'm not the storyteller Emilia is, but I do have a certain fondness for this tale.

June 20, 1986. Crappy south campus apartment. My first year of grad school is drawing to a close. My roommate, Kathy, and her brother, Dave, are going to a movie. Kathy invited me, and Dave had invited a friend of his. Kathy and Dave were on the back porch and I was inside, so when the someone knocked on the door I answered it. My first thought-"He is tall."
We walked up High St to a theatre which no longer exists-it's now a gym. By the time we got there, Jeff and I were already trying to figure out how to ditch Kathy and Dave. Which we did, soon after the movie ended.
Unlike Emilia and Todd, who kept meeting repeatedly, Jeff and I have been together since that first day. Of course, Emilia and Todd met while their ages added together made a single digit number. It would have been odd if they'd started dating immediately.

Note- the movie we saw was called "Morons from Outer Space." I think it's safe to say that if it hadn't been for meeting Jeff, I wouldn't have remembered this movie. I would have actively tried to forget it. ECT might not have been out of the question. To call this a bad movie is an insult to bad movies of all genres and eras. I think I've made my point.

Another note- We still haven't figured out if we were set up that night. Kathy has denied it, but...

Communing with Franklin

So we had communion again this past Sunday. Frankly and I both reached for the tray at the same time. Let's just say I'm glad I was wearing navy blue. And even though the cups are tiny and hold just a little bit of juice, it can, somehow, go everywhere.
On the other hand, Gregory did let me listen to the sermon with only a dozen or so interruptions.

Read this. You will enjoy it. Trust me on this!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/obamas-use-of-complete-se_b_144642.html

Tag from Emilia

8 TV shows I love to watch:
1-My Own Worst Enemy
2-Monty Python's Flying Circus
3-The Office
4-Boston Legal
5-Firefly
6-SNL
7-CBS Sunday Morning
8-Family Guy

Favorite Restaurants-a toughie: I probably haven't been to eight restaurants in the last twenty years.
1-The Clock?-not really sure of the name, but it was in Valpo, was open 24 hrs, wasn't far from campus, a popular place to end up after the Friday and Saturday nights of my misspent youth.
2-Denny's-Was close to campus, etc. Closer to dorm but lower quality food. I practically lived there during finals.
3-Buca di Beppo
4-Olive Garden- not a real restaurant but love the soup and salad for lunch.
5-Appleby's-see #4
6-Blue 'Dube-road trip, anyone? Best reubens in town.
7-La Hacienda Real
8-Chipotle

8 things that happened yesterday:
1-I did laundry.
2-I spent way too much time on the computer.
3-I cleaned the refrigerator.
4-I determined that, yes, the turkey is still frozen solid. Refused to worry about it.
5-Watched Jeff split some logs. Tried it myself, for maybe 30 to 45 seconds. Went back inside.
6-Did I mention laundry?
7-Was on time to pick the kids up from school--go, me!
8-Went to bed at a decent time.

Things I'm looking forward to:
1-Finally getting to read Tiffani's chapters-Emilia!
2-Getting rid of the orthopedic boot-although it is cooler now that Bella has worn one in Twilight.
3-Being able to go for walks again-see #2.
4-Christmas stuff at home and at church.
5-Christmas stuff being over with at work.
6-Finding a new job-finding it, not the part where I have to look for it.
7-Planting a garden next spring.
8-Not being chair of the Christian Ed. committee.

Wish list:
1-Stefan would find his footing.
2-Harrison would take things more seriously.
3-New oven
4-New kitchen, really.
5-Paint for living room, etc.
6-First or second floor laundry room.
7-New job.
8-Can't really think of anything else. Maybe motivation to look for job.


Tag:
1-Sarah Fellure
2-Sarah Ries
3-Katey
4-Paula
5-Susan
6-Kim
7-Elizabeth
8-Dee

Twilight trailer spoof

Nanowrimo

This is the only piece of my novel that anyone will ever read. Enjoy.


Nada addressed Tim, “Has Sammy done his homework?”
“Done, reviewed, and pack up in his bookbag. Did we do homework when we were in kindergarten?
“Your mother told me that in kindergarten you mostly ate paste.”
“Made me the man I am today.”
“Daddy, you’re weird.”
“Why, thank you Esme. You’re pretty strange yourself.”

There's nothing wrong with Ohio, except the snow and the rain

These are the days when I understand why people hate Ohio. I'll get over it, of course, but right now I just want to sit and sulk. Jeff wants to move to Costa Rica. If he'd first brought it up on a day like today, I might have folded.
On the other hand, I love Tuesdays. Tuesday is my Saturday, my "the work week is finally over" day. Saturday means chores, of course, and I really should be cleaning out the fridge, especially since, 1) I never did get to it last Tuesday (or Saturday, as the case may be,) and 2) there will be lots to put in there, since Thanksgiving is two days away. At least we have two fully functioning refrigerators-see previous post. (Note to self-ask Emilia how to do the cool link thing in post.)
Just for the heck of it, here are some more gratuitous parentheses-
()() (((( )))))) ()())))))))))))))))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((((
(I hope the computer doesn't have a limited number of parentheses. If so. I may have just used them all up. This could be a real problem if I ever decide I don't hate emoticons and want to start using them. Also, I just really like parentheses.) ( ) ( ) ( )
Well, that's all the fun I have time for this morning, kids. Have a lovely SaturTuesday.

Finally!

**********************************************************

The second refrigerator is in the garage, plugged in and running and everything!!!!!!!!!

*********************************************************

Who can argue with this?

I've just been sitting here, hoping I could will the laundry to become clean without actually having to walk to the laundry room and put it in the washer, and I caught myself looking at a bird feeder Frank made a while ago, in Cub Scouts I think. He wrote, "Bird Buffet" on one side, and "No birds allowed" on the other. When I asked him why, he responded,

[drumroll]

"It doesn't matter what you write on a bird feeder, because birds can't read."

Whole wheat oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (owl pellets)

I had my doubts before I tried these, but now they're the only cookies my kids want.

INGREDIENTS
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt10 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed1 egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup nuts, chopped

PREPARATION
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. In a large bowl, sift or whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Cream the butter with the brown sugar until light in color, about 4 minutes. Beat in the egg until well incorporated. Stir in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and blend well. Stir in the oats, chocolate chips, and nuts.
3. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes, or until brown. Cool on a wire rack.

And here's something to amuse you while the cookies are in the oven.

Please take a look at this

Here is a story about a family fighting to save the farm that has been in their family for four generations, since 1912.

http://thedeliberateagrarian.blogspot.com/

They are trying to sell their inventory of mint oil and other items so the bank will not take the farm.

What I did yesterday

*2 or 3 loads of laundry

*Talked to Paula for the first time in I don't know when.

*Set up the new compost bin

*Helped to change the course of history. Yea!

Another weekend goes by

I've got about 3500 words down in my "novel." It's complete drivel, absolutely unreadable, but so far it's fun. I had to start a new file yesterday because after about 1800 words I managed to hit some button or something, and now the formatting is all bizarre and I can't figure out how to fix it. Those first few pages are simmering in digital land while I try to figure out how to add them to what I've done today. Wish me luck. I don't know what I'll do if I have to just toss yesterday's stuff. Not because it was any good, mind you, but just because I doubt I can spare 1800 words.
No matter what I do, Kat is able to stay about 1000 words ahead of me, but maybe I'll be able to catch up while she's in school tomorrow. She'll undoubtedly pull far ahead Tuesday, since the kids don't have school, but it would be fun to be ahead of her just once, however briefly.
Today we started to diagram out where we would like to put the garden beds for next year. It's interesting because there is not a level spot anywhere in our yard. It sort of looks level, until you actually try to do anything with the yard.
What we have so far pretty much just looks random, and I'm ok with that, sinces that's pretty much the theme of my life.
Gregory has been in rare form this weekend. I may yet end up dumping him out along a freeway somewhere. It may have been all the candy. It would probably be best if I just ate the rest, you know, for the good of the kids.
I found a link for the poster I had mentioned a few weeks ago, I don't know why I couldn't find it before, it came up right away today. Anyway, I really like it, so have a peek if you're interested.
http://yista.com/2008/05/06/all-colors-together-obama-poster/allcolors-light/
And remember, whatever happens on Tuesday (Obama will win,) the ads and phone calls will end.

A random pet peeve

I'm at Kroger, using the self checkout. I set something down and the computer tells me to remove, "all objects or items," from the scale. Someday, I'm going to refuse to move until someone can tell me the difference.

Peer Pressure

Pretty much everybody I know gardens. Small gardens, huge gardens, mainly vegetables, mostly flowers, whatever. I sometimes plant some things, but I don't garden. Now, my resistance is finally wearing down
I currently have stacks of books from the library about gardening and canning. I plan to read them and try to learn from them, and I fully intend to put what I learn to use. I also have been watching videos and reading articles online.
Because I don't really know anything much about gardening, and in fact, I haven't learned much about it because I hate gardening. I hate the bugs, I hate being out in the heat, and I am talking hate here. However, I am going to attempt to change this.



In addition to the aforementioned sources of information, I plan to devote the coming winter to visualizing a prolific garden, and to convincing myself that dirt on my hands doesn't make my skin crawl. By spring, I will be fully converted. That's the plan, anyway.

More video mayhem

It wasn't exactly national alpaca weekend, but we had fun

It's been ages and ages, so I thought I'd do an actual entry, something besides a video. I mean, okay, I was really proud of working out the video thing, but it's time to move on. So this is what I did this weekend.

Saturday, I took Kat, Franklin and Gregory to the All American Quarter Horse Congress at the state fair grounds. No, that's not really accurate. I took Kat, and dragged the two boys along. Or maybe Kat dragged me and the two boys. (But I digress) (as always.) We saw lots of horses, and lots of mud. And paid waaay too much for a cup of horribly greasy, really delicious french fries. And we spent more time than I would have thought possible looking at horse trailers, and combination horse trailer/RVs. My sons, who will act like they are being actively tortured if you try to get them to shop for shoes or jeans, had to look at every trailer we passed, inside and out. They debated the merits of different models. We don't own a horse, can't really imagine that we ever will, but if we ever do, the kids will know what kind of trailer they want.

Today we had a hay ride/bon fire/Taize at our church's retreat center. I'd never been there before and wasn't at all enthusiastic about going today, but I sort of felt stuck. And I had a great time, and it was a beautiful day, and now I'm trying to think of other events we might hold out there. And no, this probably won't result in my being more open about doing things I don't want to do, will have no effect whatsoever on the amount if whining I do, 'cause I'm that much of a brat. But today was really fun.

John Cleese on the new Palin

I'm sooo glad I finally got the video thing figured out, because I'd hate it if I couldn't show you this---

One more try

Okay, so here's a video







Did it work?

Communing with Gregory

Yesterday was the first time Gregory and Franklin took Communion, probably the first time they had even been present during Communion. We're Presbyterian, so it's hardly the big deal First Communion is for Catholics, but Gregory had some concerns, nevertheless.
During the children's sermon, the kids were told about Communion and shown the table at the front of the Sanctuary. When Gregory returned to his seat he was quiet for about thirty seconds, then asked, "Is it time for the bread yet?"
Joan-"No."
Gregory- "When?"
J- "Soon. Shh."
G- "When?"
J- "After the sermon."
G-"Is that soon?"
J- "Yes. Shh."

Another thirty to forty seconds of silence.

G- "I don't think they have enough bread."
J- "I'm sure it will be fine."
G- "There's only a little bread on the table."
J- "There's plenty more in the plates stacked on the end of the table."
G- "What if there's not enough?"
J- "There will be. Shh."

Thinking, thinking, thinking.

G- "What if they forget to bring some up to the balcony?"
J- "They won't."
G- "How do you know?"
J- "They never have before."
G- "But what if they do?"
J- "Shh."

Very brief silence.

G- "What if they don't have enough bread for the balcony?"
J- "They do. Hush"

Very, very brief silence.

G- "Is there enough juice?"
J- "I promise I will answer all questions after the service. For now, you'll have to wait and see."

Maybe two minutes of silence.

G, poking my arm- "Are you asleep?"
J- "No."
G-"You look like you're asleep."
J- "I'm trying to concentrate. I'd like to hear the sermon."
G- "Why are your eyes closed?"
J- "Later."

Sermon ends.

G- "Now?"
J- "After the hymn."
G- "You said after the sermon."
J- "Next, I promise. Shh."

Communion goes along without a hitch, and the service ends. Instead of leaving, I sit back down, look Greg in the eye, and ask, "Now, what would you like to ask?"
G, baffled- "Nothing, why? Can we go now?"

For the record, Franklin was spectacularly unimpressed with the experience, in the way that only a ten year old can be.

With apologies to Coach Tressel

I wore an OSU tee shirt to work today. During the football season we are able, for a small donation to United Way, to buy ourselves the right to wear jeans and/or a college tee shirt to work on the weekend.
One co-worker asked if I had enjoyed the game last night, and was a bit baffled to learn that I hadn't watched it, and wasn't spectacularly excited that OSU had won. "So," she asked, "Why the OSU shirt?"
I was wearing the shirt today because I could, and I'd rather wear a tee than anything else. I own the shirt to begin with not because I am a Buckeye fan, but because I am a Buckeye. This is my cultural heritage. It is not seasonal, and it is unaffected by win/loss records and coach's polls. It is just a fact. Of course, all things being equal, I'd prefer the Buckeyes would win -- all the time, in every sport. But whatever happens, I will wear OSU shirts, hang an OSU ornament on my Christmas tree, and drink occasionally from an OSU mug, 'cause I'm just that much of a dork. A Buckeye dork.

?????????????????????

"I'm not one to attribute every man -- activity of man to the changes in the climate. There is something to be said also for man's activities, but also for the cyclical temperature changes on our planet.

"But there are real changes going on in our climate. And I don't want to argue about the causes. What I want to argue about is, how are we going to get there to positively affect the impacts? "

A quote from, who else, Sarah (I see Russian People) Palin

"...positively affect the impacts?" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? You can barely begin to dissect the logical flaws when the individual sentences say NOTHING!!!!

Friday night

Jeff and the kids went over to Dee and Kevin's for a neighborhood cider pressing event. I had to work. They seem to have had fun. I sliced lunch meat. I won "rock, paper, scissors," and Daniel had to wait on Unpleasant Friday Evening Couple, a victory tainted by said couple's being somewhat less unpleasant than usual.
Now I'm sitting here enjoying some freshly pressed cider, watching the kittens try to get their paws on the newly hung Halloween decorations, and trying to figure out what to say about last night's debate. Unfortunately, whenever I think about Palin all I can see is Tina Fey, and I have trouble sorting out what is real and what is parody.
I wish we could just cut out the middle man and elect Tina Fey.

National Alpaca Weekend

Another National Alpaca Weekend has come and gone, and as usual I didn't get my cards out in time. Seriously, though, I spent my Sunday afternoon visiting alpaca farms with my daughter. We saw four farms, and could easily have visited twice that many if we had gotten an earlier start, which I'm sure Kat will never let me forget.
It was a beautiful day, and I was happy just to have an excuse to drive around in it- fall, glorious fall. Kat loved seeing the critters, the items made from the critters' fleece, and did some networking, so she may be spending her next interim on an alpaca farm.
One of the crias (baby alpacas) was fascinated with my boot, and kept sniffing at it and trying to nibble on it. I don't know what the attraction was, and certainly none of the others were impressed, but Snickers couldn't stay away. We also saw an alpaca named Houdini do an agility course, and entered a contest to name a new cria.
And, best of all, I wasn't at work.

Her delusions know no bounds

By AMY WESTFELDT, Associated Press Writer
NEW YORK - Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin defended her remark that the close proximity of Russia to her home state of Alaska gives her foreign policy experience, explaining in a CBS interview airing Thursday that "we have trade missions back and forth."

Seriously.

I RE-enter the 21st century

I don't know if you've heard, but we had some problems in this part of the world last week. A couple of people had power outages, that kind of thing.
Actually, we had a hurricane. This is kind of different for Ohio. Generally, the aftermath of a hurricane brings us lots and lots of rain; Ike brought wind, and plenty of it. Almost no rain. My house was without power from Sunday afternoon until Wednesday afternoon, and we were among the ones who got power relatively fast.
I was actually kind of disappointed when the power came on. Things had been kind of relaxed, and I was enjoying the calm, quiet evenings. The younger boys loved having their bedtime stories read by the light of a battery-powered lantern, and with no school in the morning, the reading could go on and on.
I was able to enjoy the lack of electricity only because the weather was pretty mild. If it had been really hot, I'd have done significant amounts of pouting and whining. As it was, only the teenaged ones really suffered- they had no internet access. Oh, and Gregory was distraught about one thing- he had lost his first tooth at school on the Friday before the storm, and forgotten to bring it home. He was frantic. I tried to get him to accept money from me to tide him over until the tooth fairy could visit, or to leave a note explaining to the tooth fairy the usual circumstances, but nothing would do except money left by the tooth fairy in exchange for the actual tooth. Said tooth is, at this moment, tucked under his pillow, awaiting the transfer.
Here are a few things that would not have happened without the windstorm-
1) Jeff would not have gathered load after load of free wood to burn this winter.
2)We would have missed out on three evenings blissfully free of news about the election.
3) We would not have been at the zoo on Thursday. Carrousel rides were free, the animals were active, and we saw Jack Hanna.

I'm just saying...

"I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made."Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, to Newsmax, August 2008.


"I believe that man's activities certainly can be contributing to the issue of global warming, climate change."Sarah Palin, vice presidential candidate, to ABC's Charlie Gibson, September 2008.

-reported by Dan Shapley in The Daily Green

In regards to "that woman"

I have spent the last few days looking for more things to list under, " Why Sarah Palin scares me." The sheer number of reasons has made it impossible for me to compose a coherent list. Her love of earmarks, now flipped to a hatred and disdain for earmarks, comes to mind. I was also impressed by her cavalier attitude toward shooting of Alaska's large mammals. Of course, once their habitat disappears they'll have nowhere to hide, making it just that much easier to pick them off from the air. How sporting.
I'll have to stop for now. My demon offspring require my assistance procuring items which they have only just recalled that they need for school tomorrow. They didn't wait until bedtime, so I guess I should count my lucky stars.

Why Sarah Palin scares me way more that McCain ever could on his own; or- Jesus, send us a pipeline!

Maybe my son was right-maybe I have nothing to blog about. I prefer to think that I am simply too busy to keep this up to date.
At any rate, I now have something to say--that woman must be stopped!

1. She seems to genuinely believe that we can drill our way out of our current mess. Perhaps she's satisfied with a "solution" that leaves the problem to be dealt with by future generations, but shouldn't we at least try for better than that?

2. She promotes "abstinence only" education. Please.

3. She doesn't think global warming is, a) a big deal or, b) caused by human activity.

4. She believes that the Iraq war is ordained by God. She has every right to believe this, I have every right to consider her a loon for doing so. God wants young people to die for oil? Sorry, there's just no way I can make this make sense.

We'll talk more about this later.

Laundry for Thirty Two

First off, I was single, and I did laundry for one person, me. Then I got married, and I did twice as much laundry, which seemed reasonable. Then Harrison was born and the amount of laundry doubled again, which I was again willing to accept, given that he spit up a lot, and that we used cloth diapers.
This is where it starts to get tricky. Katherine was born, and the laundry seemed to double again. Now I'm doing enough laundry not for four people, or even six, but for eight. And it didn't seem to decrease any, even when they had both stopped wearing diapers.
Now I'm starting to get some what frustrated, but I don't have the sense to stop. Franklin is born, and you guessed it, enough laundry for sixteen people. We thought we were done, but God, and Gregory, had other ideas. At least by then it didn't surprise me any more.

And thus we arrive at the "Laws Law of Laundry Propagation," stating that the amount of laundry will double whenever another person is added to the household. There are two corrollaries to this law: 1) The amount of laundry for the household will never decrease again once increased, and 2) Almost any change in circumstances of a household will increase the amount of laundry, even if that change has no discernable relationship to laundry.

I enter the twenty-first century

Okay, so it's like this. I was forced to start this blog. Seriously, I had no choice. My seventeen year old son, on overhearing me say that I was considering starting a blog, just toying with the idea, told me that blogging requires that you have, "You know, something like a life to blog about." So what was I supposed to do?